कौन है? उनका असली पहचान क्या है !!

I hate[1] seekers of the truth.  Usually truth is not true.  Death is the truth, and truth is death. Also truth is one, and one is boring. Truth is power and power begets violence. I like violence only on cinema screen or in war.  Also people after knowing the truth become either boring or dreadful.

These people don’t want any ‘talk’ over that matter, now they want action. Activists are another category that I hate, again I hate softly, like soft law and hard law, similarly soft hate and hard hate. I hardly have any hard hatred for anything except maybe for vulgar emotional indulgence.

Obviously when I say, I hate truth, I don’t mean quantitative truth, like if I ask you what is day today and you tell me, today is Tuesday, I won’t like that lie, unless obviously you ridiculies or intellectualize it.

I call my lying harmless lying, and I am very good at it but then don’t think I am a liar. Actually it’s complex. May be I should use an example to explain what I mean.

Today someone asked me if I really cook those foods that I post on social media, I said, yes.. (now that’s true, I do cook), then I was asked… why? Where is my family?? here I lied.

I said.. I grew up in orphanage.

This is the kind of lie that I am talking about. And with practice I have become very good at it.

I do it just for the fun of it. It’s, in a way, impulsive but I like the thrill.   Now what is thrill in such type of lying? See here…

Well!! This conversation ended with observation that it’s great that I made this journey, from orphanage; coming this far to become a professor is big. So here I made a journey, a journey where I made it from orphanage to university professor, even for a flash of a second I made this journey in someone’s mind.  It’s a good journey.  I know it’s a lie but then truth is death, lie is life.  It’s thrilling in a way. And it is very harmless.

When I used to live in Jubilee Hall hostel with my brother, I lied to a friend that we are step brothers and property ka aisa ladaai chal raha hai ki saath nahi rahenge to marwa denge ! And I guess he believed on that story for very long time.

There are several such stories of my marriage and divorces, I think I have actually made people believe that we divorced because we couldn’t agree on the program to watch on TV, and I guess having two TV could have saved my marriage.

Where did I get this idea of lying?

Looking back, I guess I got inspired from my youngest brother, I think he was in class 6th or something and he was very happy when our father got transferred from that town because he said ki wo itna jhoot bol diya hai school me jaise we have color TV, VCR, double door fridge, blah blah… all things that a class 6th student can imagine in 90s, that now he was scared of loss of face if someone from his school comes.

I guess I loved this idea and practiced it like a true artist to achieve perfection. It’s such a harmless fun. You may think that it’s immoral to lie and other things, you may throw a cheap psychology that I may start living in lies, but this is the catch, in my lies, this is not me who is living in lies. Trust me! I don’t. It is just a sport.

Don’t get an idea that I am a liar. I am not. I have not deliberately cheated anyone unless if you think that if shopkeepers returns me extra change, and I don’t return it back, I think it’s a fair game!!

Like I was once just randomly standing in Kamla Nagar, Delhi, near an old book shop, shopkeeper was away, a girl came and asked how much this book cost, I said 100, she gave me 100 hundred and took the book and went away and I also just slipped away. Yes this is all, the kind of cheating that I have done, or something of that genre but just for fun, otherwise I am an extraordinarily honest person I believe.

Yes I am very truthful otherwise but then people ask such trite questions that I think only way I can give dignity to their absolutely useless question is by giving them a dazzling answer!!

Like what’s your true age!!

True answer of that question is simply boring. Just recently I bumped into a group of students and they vulgarly asked me how old I am, I said 53 and trust me, I guess, I made them believe it, I did it very smoothly and heard in response, ohh you are as old as my father, however they calmed down when I told them Salman bhai is older. And if I tell my true age, usually an instant career counseling and family planning advice starts and even if it does not start overtly, I suspect this in their over-concerned behavior.

Or see the most regular question “why I am not marrying!!

Do you also want to know the truth??

See!! The truth is that I am just not marrying and that’s all. There is no reason behind it. There is no sad story. No bloody heartbreak. And that’s the truth. But if I tell them this truth, a bizarre lecture, a mixture of psychology, mythology and sexology is unleashed on me. Tell me!  Am I wrong if, then, I tell them my true story of getting married in second year of college and half of the college going to Marriage Registrar office!!

Then there used to be another question… what type of girl I want…

and I was always wondering if this question is not vulgar and I tested if my suspicion is right on someone who came with a proposal of marriage in bartuhari system; bartuhari system is a system where girl’s father approach your family for marriage, something totally opposite to Balls system, my father invariably used to send them to see me, and then come back.

After seeing me nobody went back. I remember father of a prospective “bride” asking me what type of girl (kis tarah ki ladki) I am looking for … I said… umm I don’t know but what kind of man your daughter is looking for… Trust me he got very offended and said his daughter is so chaste that she will marry a wood if he will ask her to do that.

Now I have a well drafted description for the type of girl I want.

 But do I lie intellectually also??

Now before you get bewildered that I am calling my own self intellectual, let me explain what I mean by intellectual. By intellectual opinion I mean non-personal opinion. Like I may say Rasgulla/Cake should be banned because I don’t like eating it, other reason could be that it should be banned because it’s bad for health or because of this or that reason…

Many a time people’s intellectual and personal opinion coincide and when some of them enter university as professors then they are not lesser than any suicide bomber. However, I distinguish between intellectual opinion and personal opinion. So in that way… do I lie intellectually also?

Obviously I have given this threat to my students that if you guys will not read before the class, then I will deliberately teach you guys wrong theories and you will never know whether what you are learning is right or wrong!!

But it’s tough to lie at that level. It’s my dream to construct a false lecture, let’s say on Hart, then deliver it and get away with it.  I haven’t done it ever. Relax…

So what on demonetization!! Am I lying in my post? I don’t think so. Actually till date, I have not come across a single article that gives a sensible or scandalous critic of demonetization policy, if you have come across any, send it to me. I am dying to see one.

Scandalous one are repeating the same trite like MPs Anand Sharma is saying in parliament that news of demonetization was leaked out because it was published in a gujrati daily. Hope you know the truth of this story!![2]

Sensible one says it will bring down employment in unorganized sectors; a large number of those people are employed in real estate. But most of the real estate and civil constructions works are happening in metro. Say Delhi.  Even if 20% of the construction works stop, it will be a big improvement on Delhi pollution.

Laborers will go back to Bihar and either they will agitate against Nitish babu’s sharabbandi aur happily live in Sushahan of Nitish Babu after building their house under MNREGA and PM Grameen Awas Yojna.

Then all cash money is not black money!! I do not like any one of them. I guess intellectual and personal are getting mixed up in many of those writings.

I would have loved reading something on following line.

Professor Balgangadhar in his lecture observed…[3]

these two things, (insistence that Ramayana is a true story, Rama was actually born in actual Ajodhya…basically this unification and systematization of Hindu culture…)…..The[se] ideologues of the Sangh Parivar might do what centuries of colonialism tried but could not accomplish: destroy the Indian culture and her traditions irreplaceably and irrevocably. They might do that while truly be-­‐lieving that they are ‘saving’ the Indian culture and her traditions.

In this way, the ultimate aim of this demonetization seems to be to formalize the economy and create a cashless society, now this may destroy the Indian bazaar and really squeeze out all wealth from India. something that “800 years” of raids, and loots and 250 years of systematic colonization and neo-colonization couldn’t achieve.  Was Akhilesh Yadav saying the same thing??

But then, may be, this fear is based on my colonial experience of government, where government is always a suspect, May be I am still buying Cornwallis’s idea that Indians are meant for despotic government, and we are anarchic by nature.

But what if what Xuanzang, more popularly known as Hiuen Tsang in india, was not lying when he observed that he has not heard a single Hindu lying ( secular guys relax !! When he came here there was no Islam in the world) and interestingly he observed this fact about people of Patliputra… Patna, Bihar… beat that!!! 😀

End  Now

[1] Soft hate …

[2] https://nimeshdasguru.wordpress.com/2016/11/17/demonetization-talks-i/

[3] https://www.scribd.com/document/77519942/What-Do-Indians-Need

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