भाग्यहीन प्रतिज्ञाएँ 

This is not the first time I am attempting to withdraw from social network sites. I have tried umpteen numbers of times and invariably everytime I failed, but then there is nothing wrong in attempting again and failing again. So be it.

Am I addicted to social network? Not at all. It may appear that I am addicted to useless social chit chatting, alcohol, cigarettes but as a matter of fact, I am not addicted to anything except may be self depreciating thinking and now writing.

I was someone who was drinking half a bottle everynight for more than 4 years (before that it was quarter of a bottle) and from there I quit next day and didn’t drink at all for six months except for few occasional weekends. So I don’t get addicted.

I remember being stoned 24×7 for two three years and thereafter quitting it so smoothly without even once feeling any withdrawal symptoms.

I have quit smoking for a day or two for several times but again I picked it up just because of sheer boredom.

I recently heard a big Professor, someone who has travelled the world, sharing with us that that he never tasted alcohol or cigarettes ever in his life but he is constantly high.

I remember one of my friends after getting drunk used to wonder if Aristotle always felt like the way he feels after he drinks alcohol. I remember in my high times thinking about building a (mental) bridge from where a person can crossover drunken state of mind to sober state of mind whenever he feels so. Someone told me Jim Morrisson also thought that thing.

So why am I suddenly attempting this. Let me elaborate.

Tomorrow is Bakrid. A festival of sacrifice. You must sacrifice what you like doing most. Well!! Regardless of whether I am addicted to alcohol or not, I agree that I like drinking, especially after I drink my first drink. I am unstoppable after two drinks. And embarrassing it may be but let me admit that that after getting drunk I start feeling that I am extraordinarily lovable and likable and this is where my trouble begins. Otherwise I don’t think I have got anything special in me except a bit of talking skills. On the contrary I hate myself when I am sober.  So this is a tough call.

I know it is going to be tough to live without drinking especially in my local condition where most of the people around me are extraordinarily boring and vain. But then I have read that God Almighty is Rahman, sabpe raham karne waala hai, hope He accepts my sacrifice. So no alcohol for a year…

Cafe Coffe Day I am coming 🙂

Ameen 🙂

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