A Rejoinder


Let me start this post[1] with a story that I read sometime way way back. The story was about Napoleon when he was still a small child. Once his grandmother, when she could not find him anywhere in the house, she started searching for him and she found him sitting alone in a dark place. Seeing him, a small child sitting alone in the darkness, his grandmother asked him “tumhe dar nahi laga” Napoleon said “dar”!! wo kya hota hai?[2]

So here comes my question, is fear always of something or does it exist as an emotion that can get attached to anything, like desire, desire is something that is free from object, it can come for anything, in itself, desire is a just a drive, in the same way, in itself, fear, love or say happiness, all of these things are just a kind of drive that human beings are born with, and they have no specific attachment to any particular object, however we locate them only when these drives get attached to something.

Say happiness, is happiness a state of feeling in itself or is it to be achieved through something else. Say love; is love a feeling in itself or again is it something experienced in something else, like I love you. Is love possible without any you or more precisely without any particular you?

Like love, any kind of love, say love for nation, is it necessary that love for a nation can come only for a typical kind of nation or can it come for any nation, like attach this feeling of love to a nation making it my own nation.

Same goes about life partner? Does love come only for a particular person or is it something that can come for anyone?  I mean love, like desire, love also has the ability to attach itself with anything, in the same manner, as desire as a drive has nothing intrinsically to do with any particular object, love also has the same characteristics and as we realize that there is no end of desire, it is like an eternal fire that human being are born with, fire that can never be satisfied, it will keep on attaching itself to anything that we would like to attach it with, same goes about love?

I wrote a post[3] few days back about (supposedly) me waiting for my eternal love, nonsensical, maybe, it was on many grounds (including “high” hopes), but could such hope also be nonsensical on this ground too that I am bringing here.  Let me expand…

So love (in itself) being such a drive, an object free drive, have the ability to attach it with anything or person or object.  Our happiness lies in understanding this aspect of it that our love or fear has nothing to do with that particular object to which it has got attached to as of now, and if we have the ability to transcend the particular attachment whoever or whatever that it is attached to, then we can reduce (rather control) our sufferings, because suffering comes from the attachment.

So in that way, I was looking back at my own life, and when people have asked me so many times, if I have never been in love, and I say I am always in love, it seems now I have a conceptual understanding of my own case. Yes I have been in love (and as dramatically and as intensely that you can imagine) however, I am realizing that to love or to truly love, you don’t need to have any one person, you should have the ability to be conscious of the presence of this feeling in you and the ability to attach it with anyone you want to. It is possible.  Try it!!

Obviously I don’t mean that you can have love in shunya (zero), like desire, love is also always “geared towards objects”, like we don’t have desire just for sex, but we desire to have sex with a particular person, but that particular person has nothing to do as such with our desire of sex, once that desire is fulfilled, it can arise for another person, same goes about love.

[1] The basic idea of this post came to me after reading a post by Prof. S. N. Balgangadhar A Draft Paper on NEEDS, CONFLICTS AND HAPPINESS[1] http://ugent.academia.edu/SNBalagangadhara, however  Nonsensicality (because of my misreading maybe) of my post has nothing to do with his idea, that’s all mine..


[2] I read this story in Hindi and I don’t know how to translate “tumko dar nahi laga??” didn’t you feel fear?? # weren’t you scared?? Napoleon’s answer: fear? What is fear??”

[3] https://nimeshdasguru.wordpress.com/2015/12/29/for-you-with-love/




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